Understanding Depression

Depression and low moods are often symptoms of a deeper emotional disconnection. At the core of this disconnection is the tension between our true selves and how we navigate the world. Over time, we can internalise the habit of suppressing or abandoning our emotions, needs, and desires in order to meet the expectations of others or gain external approval. This constant cycle of self-rejection and neglect sets the stage for emotional pain, dissatisfaction and ultimately depression.

When we reject our authentic feelings to avoid disapproval or rejection, we create an internal conflict. This conflict manifests as feelings of worthlessness, frustration and sadness. The disconnect between who we truly are and the version of ourselves we present to the world leads to a pervasive sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction, which can eventually spiral into low moods or depression. Over time, the more we neglect our emotional needs, the more profound this internal conflict becomes, contributing to the intensifying feelings of sadness or hopelessness that characterise depression.

Depression, unlike temporary sadness, often feels like an unrelenting weight, making it difficult to engage with life or experience joy. It can feel like a heavy cloud that dims the light in everyday life, draining energy and motivation. It’s important to understand that depression is not a permanent state, though. It serves as a signal from our body and mind that something is out of balance—something needs attention, compassion and care. Depression can emerge from various sources, such as life changes, trauma, prolonged stress, or unmet emotional needs. Whatever the cause, the central message of depression is that something within us requires attention and care.

The link between depression and self-rejection lies in the disconnect between our authentic selves and the persona or mask we create to gain external validation. When we suppress or abandon our true feelings and desires, we essentially disconnect from who we are. This disconnection breeds an emotional void—an inner dissatisfaction that erodes our sense of self-worth over time.

Living out of alignment with our core values or suppressing our emotional needs creates a persistent, underlying unease. As this internal conflict deepens, it manifests as depression or low mood, making it feel impossible to escape the cycle of emotional pain. The more we rely on others for approval and neglect our own emotional needs, the more profound the depression becomes. It is as if we’ve abandoned ourselves, leading to a pervasive sense of hopelessness and emotional depletion.

The good news is that depression, like anxiety, doesn’t define us. It’s a signal, a cry for help that we need to listen to and respond to with compassion. Understanding the root causes of depression and learning how to shift our relationship with ourselves can provide a path to healing.