Understanding Self-Sabotage and why we do it

Archetypes: Inner Saboteur VS Inner Magician 

Have you ever wanted something so much, but fear has prevented you from being able to obtain it or even take steps to work towards it? This is something we have all struggled with, and there’s a good reason for it: Archetypes. 

What are Archetypes?

Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist, introduced the term "Archetypes" in 1919 in his paper "Instinct and the Unconscious." Jung suggested that Archetypes are the unconscious patterns of behavior we all have. 

Since Jung’s introduction of the 12 Archetypes, many psychologists and authors, like Caroline Myss, have identified numerous Archetypes that reside within us. We all have Archetypes, whether we are aware of them or not, and this is known as the “Collective Unconscious”. Contrary to belief, we are not just one Archetype; we encompass many different ones at different times of our lives. Some are more beneficial or positive for us than others.  

Archetypal psychology explores these patterns of behavior and how they influence our emotional, mental, and spiritual growth - whether positive or negative. Sometimes, it can be difficult to understand why we act in certain ways, and inner exploration is the key to this; understanding Archetypes can be valuable in understanding our thoughts and patterns of behaviour. Having an awareness that we are acting within the boundaries of a certain Archetype can help us in deepening our understanding and from there we can begin to change our behaviours and transform from one Archetype to another. Let’s a look at an example of this…

Archetype: The Saboteur & Self-Sabotage

The Saboteur is designed to protect you. Though it may seem negative, associated with deception, dishonesty and treachery of self, it stems from a young part of us and initially served to help us make friends, gain attention, connect, belong or shield us from pain during childhood.

As adults, however, these Archetypes can trip us up by highlighting our fears, lack of self-worth and self-esteem, causing us to repeat and project our unhealed wounds. When unconscious to us, these Archetypes deprive us of emotions such as peace, joy, self-love and self-acceptance. If you find yourself lacking willpower, self-trust or faith, ask yourself why and in what area of your life this is happening.

We can learn a lot by becoming observers of our thoughts and behaviours and seeing how we sabotage ourselves, affecting our career, relationships or success. The Saboteur’s fears are related to low self-esteem and self-worth, causing us to make choices that block our empowerment and success. 

However, the trick is not to ignore the Saboteur but to lean into it. Face it, make it your ally and befriend it. It takes a journey of deep inner work to understand more about the Saboteur. Identify the area of your life where self-destructive behaviour, procrastination or negative self-talk is most evident, be it career, health, finances, relationships or personal growth.

How to Heal and Integrate

Be kind and compassionate to yourself while doing this deep work. Remember, the Saboteur is here to work with you, bringing forth your deepest wounds. Ignoring it can start to cause worries and anxieties, or ironically prevent you from being able to heal – you must lean into the feelings the Saboteur brings with it.  

Once you identify the repeating pattern, such as bad relationships or never getting a promotion, ask yourself, “What part of me feels unworthy? What do I fear?” Go back to a time when you first felt this way and notice the emotions that arise... Feelings of disappointment, sadness, shame and guilt may arise… What do they tell you? Allow yourself to feel these emotions, cry and release tears if you need to. Give yourself permission to feel these emotions for as long and as much as they need to be heard and felt. N.B. This may not be an easy thing to do and may require the support of a therapist or professional to help guide you. 

The next step is to make peace with the parts of you that feel these emotions- reach out and care for these parts. It could a young part of you, perhaps your Inner Child that needs to be soothed, cared and loved by you.  To get close to the Saboteur, observe it without judgment. Treat it with compassion and patience. The Saboteur doesn’t want to be analysed or examined harshly. By treating it gently, you can begin to transform this internal force from a destructive pattern into a source of self-awareness and growth.

For example, if your pattern is failed relationships, you might feel unworthy of love and fear abandonment. If you experienced significant abandonment as a child, the Saboteur might sabotage your relationships to protect you from experiencing abandonment again. Or in career, if you had parents constantly comparing you to others, saying you could have done better, this might lead to a fear of inadequacy. The Saboteur will sabotage your success to protect you from feeling inadequate or hearing others’ disappointment.

Now that you have identified how the Saboteur Archetype most frequently affects your life and in what area, you might be wondering "How do I overcome the Saboteur?".

I am now going to introduce you to the Inner…Magician! Yes, you have one – we all do!  It’s an Archetype we can lean on, nurture and growth with. It’s much like having a devil on one shoulder—the Saboteur—and an angel on the other—the Magician. The more we give the Saboteur a voice because we believe it is protecting us, the more these unwanted anxieties, procrastination and worries in our lives will continue to repeat. However, we have a choice.

So, from now on, when any problems arise, work with your inner Magician to alchemise the outcome you want for yourself. This doesn’t mean your goals will be magically achieved for you – instead, you will find yourself pushing past anxieties and taking swift action to make things happen for yourself! 

Ask questions like, “How can I change my mindset (archetype) for what I need right now?” or “What would my Magician do in this situation?” Use your inner Magician as if it were your internal coach; the more you give it a voice, the stronger it will become and more limitless you will become! 

The more you work with these Archetypes the more you will be able to identify the difference between the two; the Saboteur will keep you safe by playing small (and trying to keep you small) relying on logic and reasoning for why you should procrastinate and why you should not go to that party or send off that job application. While the Magician will activate a sense of power, potential and freedom - affirming that you are good enough and encouraging you to give it a go. 

If you truly want to achieve anything in life—be it a fulfilling relationship, a satisfying career, or financial freedom—the only path to empowerment is to master yourself by disempowering the Saboteur and empowering your Magician.

When you start working with Archetype it's easier to see patterns of thoughts and behaviours, rather than just thinking something is wrong with you. 

1. Identify the Saboteur: Recognise the patterns and areas where the Saboteur is most active in your life.

2. Activate the Magician: Connect with the Magician and the power it holds – visualise them in your mind - how do they see the world? Ask yourself what your inner Magician would say or do in various situations.

3. Give the Magician a Voice: The more you consult your inner Magician, the stronger its influence will become and the more confident you will be. 

4. Heal the Wounds: Understand that the Saboteur had a purpose to protect you, and now it’s time uncover and heal the wounds it is trying to protect, by doing the Inner Work.

5. Keep Working: Continue to work alongside the Magician, and you will notice the voice of the Saboteur becomes quieter over time

By empowering your inner Magician and acknowledging the Saboteur’s purpose, you can transform self-sabotage into self-empowerment. 

Other shadow/light Archetypes include: 

Other Archetypes include: 

· Victim Vs Healed Warrior 

· Whole & Complete Self Vs Compromised Self

· Child Self Vs Adult Self 

If you would like to learn more about these Archetypes and working with your Inner Saboteur to stop repeating patterns of behaviour, get in touch to know more.