The Roots of Generational Trauma

Gabor Maté, an authority in the field of trauma, defines trauma as not the event itself, but the impact it has on an individual’s nervous system, psyche, and overall sense of self. He explains “trauma is not what happens to you. Trauma is what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you.”

Trauma is less about the external event—whether it’s abuse, neglect, or a significant loss—and more about how your mind and body respond to the event. Trauma occurs when an overwhelming experience disrupts your sense of safety, connection, and self, leaving a lasting imprint on your body and mind. Trauma can range from childhood experiences to domestic violence to historical injustices like slavery and war.

Unaddressed trauma in families is known as Generational Trauma. Maté also emphasises that trauma creates disconnection: from ourselves, from others and from the world. This disconnection can manifest as emotional pain, self-rejection, unhealthy coping mechanisms (such as emotional instability or substance abuse), and physical illnesses. 

Epigenetics sheds light on how trauma’s legacy extends beyond behaviour and into biology. Traumatic experiences can alter gene expression, which is a survival mechanism, passed from parent to child, unconsciously alerts offspring to potential dangers. Over time, the original source of trauma may fade from memory, but its effects linger in behaviours and genetic imprints. Many clients frequently struggle with symptoms that feel foreign to them, often inherited from their parents. During a recent conference I attended, Resmaa Menakem, author and director of a US-based counselling practice, made a comment that encapsulates this well, he said “trauma in a person can look like personality. Trauma in family can look like family traits. Trauma in people can look like culture over time.”  

In order to heal ourselves, a vital step is acknowledging the presence in your life and recognising how it has shaped your family - reflecting on how trauma has woven itself into your family’s narrative can provide powerful insights. Ask yourself: How has trauma impacted my parents, grandparents, or even earlier generations? Were they affected by historical events like the Indian-Pakistan Partition, World War I or II, or other significant upheavals? Was the family displaced or separated? Were loved ones lost? Consider how those experiences may have influenced their fears, behaviours, and ways of coping.

For those who went on to have children, how might their trauma have been passed down? What patterns or coping mechanisms—such as emotional withdrawal, hyper vigilance or avoidance—are evident within the family? Are there specific triggers or unresolved issues that remain unspoken, creating a sense of tension or unease? These silences often reveal the lingering shadow of trauma, shaping how family members interact, express emotions, or avoid conflict.

By exploring these questions, you can begin to piece together the unspoken stories that may have influenced your family dynamics and even your own behaviour. It’s not about assigning blame - but understanding that trauma can ripple through generations in ways that may not always be obvious. Once you recognise these patterns, you gain the opportunity to break the cycle, fostering healing not just for yourself but for future generations. Mark Wolynn emphasises, “by developing a relationship with the painful parts of ourselves—parts we have often inherited from our family—we have an opportunity to shift them. Qualities like cruelty can become the source of our kindness; our judgments can forge the foundation of our compassion.”